Hello.

Recently found the blog you write and I'd like some advice.

I am a 14 year old gainer. I began to get fat at 7 years. Didn't think about it back then. At 10 I first began to think about it, and after a while enjoy it. At 11 I discovered the gaining community at YouTube and realized I might be one of them. At 12 I began to gain, as far as possible for a 12 year old. I come from a big family though so no one really cared all that much. I've been fairly successful, mostly from overeating at meals and my general lack of moving. I'm a gamer and spend most of my time here, at the computer. I am 242 lbs now at 14, with a current goal of 350-400 at 25 years.

However, I have doubts to. first of all, a friend of mine half my weight recently got diabetes and I'm worried I'll get it to. Secondly, my mom has started complaining about the rate we have to get new clothes. I'm currently growing both upwards and outwards so I need new clothes often and money is a bit tight for us now. It has also made her aware about my size and she's recently began to hint towards exercise and less eating. Thirdly, I'm only 14, will being this big and getting bigger at this age give me any extra conditions? I'm not full grown yet and I'm worried my weight might effect me maturing.

And last, is there any sites for younger gainers, all the ones I've found are for adults only.

Also, how do you personally feel about people my age gaining? I think you once addressed it before but I'd like to know more detailed what you think about teens gaining.

Hope you can offer me some good advice :)

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Ok—my personal attitude about young people is this—I was on the Board of Directors for SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States)—we provided the most sex-ed curriculum for schools than any other agency.  I feel about sex and gaining in the same way.  As an adult, if I tell anyone, (including you) not to do something—well, duh—what are the chances you’ll go ahead and do it? Adults can control a lot of things, but like the Church and the Government, they can only attempt to control your behavior—never your feelings or your sexuality.  That means I treat gaining the same way I do safe-sex. I want everyone to have the best information possible to help them make a decision about their own choices—but they ultimately make their own choices. But I think one of the worst things adults can do is pretend young people won’t “do things” we don’t always want them to do.

I think a general attitude in the gaining community is useful.  Many in general society choose to engage in potentially risky behavior.  This might involve bungee-jumping, rock-climbing, race-cars, or smoking.  Is it safer for you in the “big picture” if you never bungee-jump, rock-climb, race, or smoke? Absolutely. Actually a major life risk is to get into an automobile. Even if you’re a perfect driver, there’s every chance some imperfect driver might plow into you.  Life is, as we say in health care, a “self-limiting condition.” 

That means whether you eat all organic food, keep your body fat percentage at a single digit, and exercise three hours a day, you know what? You will still eventually die.  I think a real wake-up call from before you were born was the “running guru,” Jim Fixx, who really kicked off the running movement.  And then he dropped dead while running from a pre-existing heart condition he didn’t know he had.  The point?  It doesn’t matter what you do, or don’t do—you still die.  The real point? What you do before you die is what counts—and what are “quality of life” issues.  For example I hired a personal fitness trainer and for over two years, I never ate a cookie or a piece of bread. Is denying yourself pleasure really worth it in the long time? That is something you can only answer for yourself—but it’s a very important question.

You always have the options to gain in the healthiest way possible.  For example, diabetes is about how your body processes sugars and insulin. You’ve just told me someone “half your weight” (around 120 pounds?) developed diabetes. There are more than one type of diabetes, and for someone barely 100 pounds to have it probably isn’t about having too many pieces of pie.

There are absolutely individuals who report by changing their food intake (dropping off sugar intake) after they had been diagnosed with diabetes, who have gotten to the point where they did not need medical intervention (such as insulin injections) but still returned to gaining after changing their food intake.  Keeping active also makes a big difference in keeping you as healthy as possible, whether it’s at the gym, or simply doing 30 minutes of walking a day (a dog is so helpful to force you to get out of the house). Always remember active Sumo wrestlers can be twice your size but still professional athletes

Ultimately, I support a feminist view, which is “My body, my rules,” which means as a bottom line, a person should be in control of his or her personhood. That also means an individual should take responsibility for the consequences as well. That means a number of gainers decide the pleasure of their bodies can be worth the “costs” of being a bigger person.  It also means a number of people who want to gain make a decision not to gain precisely because of the costs of gaining, and may end up meeting their needs by padding, inflation, bloating, or other methods where they can at least temporarily end up bigger, but without the physical costs of actually getting fatter.  You might want to explore these avenues as well. This is as true for someone 14 or 44. The major difference is that as a young person, you have a dependency on your family in terms of survival and support.  Someone ten years older than you are, who is financially independent and living on their own, has a much wider range of options than you do. Which is why some younger people decide to do what they can, but accept they may postpone active gaining until they are no longer under their parents’ roof.

Let me add for most humans, they don’t achieve their ultimate growth until around the age of 24.  That means even if you don’t decide to actively gain at this point in time, the chances are your parents are still going to have to buy you new clothes because as you point out, even if you don’t continue to “grow out,” you’re still going to get taller, which means you’ll need larger clothing regardless of your waist size.

I’ve also contacted someone that set up a website for young gainers when he was an early teen.  Many younger people were active on his site, but like him, when they became older teens, joined on-line gainer sites and started interacting with other older teens and adults, and left those who were under 18 behind.  I’ve emailed him on your behalf, asking if he knows of active sites for younger gainers, but have not heard back from him at this point.  I would suggest you go to Yahoo.com and search under “groups” and see if you can find an active one for younger gainers.  To be frank, Yahoo groups come and go, so there are some established for younger gainers that “exist” on-line but are no longer posting anything.  But you always have the option of creating your own free Yahoo group for young gainers, because there will always be people around your age who want the same sort of things you want.