Therapists? And How Do I Do A Better Job Of Gaining?

Hey Professor!  I just wanted to thank you for the great blog that you have.  Also, I have a few important questions that I was hoping you could answer ...

Do you know of any therapists in Seattle that are knowledgeable about gaining?

Also, you probably get this question alot; but I'm having a super hard time putting on weight - its frustrating, I think it is the same feeling for people trying to lose weight that aren't having success.  I've been trying for years with the worst luck it seems like.  In high school (2000), I was 145 lbs - college I got up to 180 lbs, and now I'm stuck at 205 lbs - my highest weight was at 213 lbs.  50 lbs seems like a lot, but 50 lbs in 10 years???  That's an eternity.  Any ideas how to speed this up?  My metabolism seems to still be rocket fast and I'm almost 30.

Thanks!

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Thanks for your patience—I’ve been so busy with my increased responsibilities on my “day job” I have not been maintaining the blog site, and as a result, I've not had a chance to answer a number of questions that have come in.

To answer your first question, I don’t know of any currently practicing therapists who deal with  a gaining “kink” as a specialty—I am no longer living in the Seattle area, so I’m not aware of all your options.  My suggestion? Treat this as a “kink,” and start from there, rather than the content of the “kink.” You have a unique resource in Seattle—the Wet Spot, or more formally, The Center for Sex Positive Culture--http://www.sexpositiveculture.org/   I was one of the members during its first year of operations in 1999.  A fascinating idea—originally a group of pansexuals (i.e., it wasn’t started by “only” a gay group, or a straight group—but by people of all sorts of sexual and gender orientations) who shared in common they were focused on things that weren’t necessarily all that “common.”  As a solution, they banded together and were able to purchase a physical location where members would be able to participate in “play sessions” without having to worry about neighbors calling the police for disturbances.  They offer regular training programs and events—for example, how to care for your slave.  I took one of my ex’s to a seminar on Japanese bondage technique, which has inspired him now for years.  Membership is dependent on someone going through very structured training in terms of participating in, and maintaining a safe, consensual relationship in a public setting, and staff strongly monitor interactions, where someone breaking the rules (for example, “no means no.”) can get expelled. 

Part of their mission is to promote sex-positive culture without judgment in terms of the “kink.”  I would highly recommend contacting the Center and asking if they have done something around Gaining as a kink, and if they have a list of local therapists they would recommend who are recognized as being helpful to members of kink communities.  The Center is also highly unusual because it’s a non-profit organization, and has served as a model for similar centers in other locations in the U.S.  In full disclosure, I have not been active with the Center for several years, only because I was traveling so much and eventually moved out of Seattle.  Based on my past experience, I would highly recommend it, but since I’ve not had any recent contact, use your own judgment and instincts if you follow through and make inquires.

As for gaining—I would suggest what I suggest for most people just starting therapy.  “What is it you’re actually doing?”—because if you were doing it with a satisfactory outcome—why would you be seeing someone like me?  But this means if you’re not “doing it right,” then it’s just a scientific method of trying something different—until you get what you’re wanting more effectively than by the method you’re using now.  For example, some people report skipping breakfast results in them starving later on in the day and they feel they can then gorge later in the day.  Others are successful by never binging at a particular meal, and end up grazing throughout the day.   Drew, a personal trainer, started a blogsite to document his journey from “Fit To Fat To Fit.”  He made a decision for 6 months to stop working out and eat whatever he wants with the goal of gaining about 10 pounds a month to hit a goal of a 50-60 pound gain.  His first week he gained 12 pounds.  On the 12^th week, he gained 7 pounds.  That’s a 47 pound gain in 12 weeks.  You—10 years and barely 50 pounds—Drew—12 weeks and 47 pounds---hmm…whose approach is more effective? 

You might check out one of his videos where he actually shows what he’s eating on a typical day.  After years of the “several small meals” a day approach used by most bodybuilders and male models (who try to retain a single digit body fat percentage), also using supplements like protein shakes, and keeping sauces, butter, and other potentially tasty and fattening things off of his plate—he does the same number of meals but has increased their amount, and their“ingredients.”  In the old “fit days,” he would have “spinach shakes.”  My point?  By habit, he’s kept up the 5-6 meals a day approach but now deliberately chooses items that are highly processed and contain a mix of “healthy” and “unhealthy” fats, and is daily indulging in sugary/high fructose items.  He’s discovered how much he loves kids’ breakfast cereal, and now gets to snack from a plate of cookies.  Take an actual look at what he’s pushing down his pie hole that’s added over 10 inches to his waist size in 12 weeks.  He’s deliberately trying out what he considers a “typical” American diet.  He’s also doing something you might consider for yourself—having a weekly “food challenge” where his followers vote on what they want him to attempt to eat—an entire cake, all the pancakes you can eat, a bucket of KFC chicken.  Because he’s a very competitive type of guy, this contest allows him a weekly challenge, since he can no longer challenge himself on increased reps, faster times, or heavier weights.  The weekly challenges also pressure him to be consistent since people are expecting him to post the results on a regular basis, so even if he feels like “slacking off,” he knows he has to be ready to upload a new weigh-in video on Saturday…what better motivation to eat the last cookie left on the plate? 

This is something YOU might consider doing—a disciplined approach to documenting your weight gain progress.  It forces you to more closely monitor not only actual growth, but to become more aware of your actual caloric intake (and the types of food you consume).  A weekly food challenge (even if you set it yourself) also gives you a regular event to “shoot for.”  Drew has also decided to return to his earlier “failed” challenges that as a 6 pack abs kind of guy, kicked his butt—like eating the entire bucket of chicken.  Maybe with 10 additional inches of belly flab, he can overcome the Colonel the second time around.   Watch his techniques (and his progress) at www.Fit2Fat2Fit.com – and follow his trail for his first six months of deliberately becoming a fat guy.  When he then switches over to the “fit” side where he plans to lose the flab and regain his 6 pack body—just do the opposite of what he’s doing .

Best of luck in becoming the fat guy you want to be...