"Beautiness and Sexual Attraction"

Hi.... A coin with the two sides : beautiness and sexual attraction

I am writing you, knowing that you have surely a full work schedule.....but honestly I dont know any other person who knows so much about different aspects of gay sexuality....

From my personal emotion towards a more common emotion....

I start with a view short video I saw...."Tamalou " a song of Francoise Hardy ...early eighties....and from there to other older sixties videos of her....the opening scene of "Charade" a movie with Audrey Hepburn....she is sitting surrounded by a nearly unbelievable elegant mountain scenery and wears a brown-black robe which is definately one of the chicest costumes of the film story....what I want to say....I adore women beautiness and elegance as much as an old-fashioned gay is possible to do.....from that point I can feel so intensive the difference between beautiness and sexual attraction....which arent opposite subjects but located in different floors of the house named "appareance attraction"....for me breathtaking melancolic and desperate beautiness is to find in women.....I think its the cliche of an old- fashioned gay emotion.....but as often i tried to understand more about the divorce of beautiness and sexual attraction....ironically tied to a male-female split.....I will try to form out a question.....

"do you think it is possible that with the decline of certain beauty standards.....at first, the type of the hypersensitive, paraanorectic, witty,fragile , nearly a bit unable to cope with life beautiness.....another associations....Catherine Hepburn in "suddenly last summer" or maybe even Marilyn Monroe in some scenes of "Misfits" ....this is clearly an old-fashioned kind of beautiness.....maybe not laying in row 4 on the cemetry , but at least getting a make up by the mortician.....if this what i try to write in english.....sorry for all the mistakes.....makes sense.....than maybe you have a few thoughts about the split of beautiness and sexual appearance.....about the change of beauty standards.....and, maybe, about the possibility that we are all witnesses of a long decades long process of the decline of beautiness and the rise of sexual appearance.....?

Greets to you !

**********

I find your question very interesting, in part because you're mentioning a number of famous females from the 1960s, and over here in the U.S.- we have just seen the launch of a new television program entitled “Pan Am” that dramatizes the experience of female stewardesses of the same period. Yesterday I listened to an interview on National Public Radio with two actual former Pan Am stewardesses, one of whom is an executive with the new television show. They discussed the limitation women faced during that time period. There simply wasn't “gender equity” to the extent most American and European women (and men) take for granted in the twenty-first century. At that time, there was an accepted power differential that was carefully socialized into women (and men).

In the movies, the role of women was very much like their role in traditional European Fairy Tales—the beautiful princess who has to be rescued by the handsome prince. In Audrey Hepburn's case in Charade, that was done by the actor Cary Grant. Katherine Hepburn's character in Suddenly Last Summer represented a woman who had wealth (power) but was unable to use that power to accomplish her goals, and ends up insane. Interestingly, not the character—but the actress herself, was probably one of the most personally powerful women of her time. And speaking of beauty, I'm surprised you didn't mention the younger star of Suddenly Last Summer—Elizabeth Taylor.

Staying with the 1960s, one of the iconic female figures was a British model, Twiggy, famed for her, well, “twiggy” figure. Looking at the women you've mentioned, as well as Twiggy, they share an elegant slenderness combined with very carefully cultivated fashion. Recall too, the fashion was not their own creation, but reflected the work of well known designers and the efforts of professional photographers. Hold that thought because I'll come back to it as we return to the twenty-first century. But notice the clothing was often restrictive in terms of movement, emphasizing the domestication of females. Looking at all of them from fifty years of perspective, they project a delicate quality, where they appear to require protection. They also appear quite young. Their female bodies don't look completely developed—even Katherine Hepburn—they share a body outline more like an adolescent boy—breasts are not that noticeable and the waist is very small.

This sort of “push/pull” of power and independence is something we've seen even earlier. When the oppression of women starts to change, the visual appearance does as well—the classic “Venus” (well nourished with distinct curves) that emphasizes fertility and motherhood, is exchanged for a variant of male (boy), as a way of claiming power. For example, the 1920s saw the rise of the “flapper,” where women took on a more assertive (male) role following World War I, where there had been a greater intercultural exchange. Notice the body outline resembles what we'll see again as idealized in the 1960s—where women moved from “better nourished (which ties them to the “mother” role and takes them out of the workplace) to a slender figure indicating the woman is not only NOT a mother, but actually looks virginal.

Some suggest this is tied to economics. In other words, if we look even further back to the early 1900s, you'll see the idealized female form, such as in the work of Charles Gibson's “Gibson's Girls” shows an “hourglass” figure. When women tended to gain power, but then the economy tanks, women return to the “overly feminized” appearance. The flapper hits the great depression, and by the 1950s, you'll see the very large breasted film stars like Jane Russell—a return to the “hourglass figure.”

Jumping forward, by the 1990s (after positive economic times) one sees a very different type of female role, popularized by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Xena, Warrior Princess. The creator of Buffy stated he wanted to “reverse” the standard role of the blonde cheerleader of horror films who was immediately killed by monsters/murderers in older films, to push the idea of a woman who really didn't need the direct help of a man to fight her enemies. Like a young Audrey Hepburn, or a young Françoise Hardy, the actress playing Buffy also had a very slender body, but this was played off against the idea she had magical super strength. 

 Xena, as portrayed by Lucy Lawless, had the physical appearance of someone who actually looked as if she could kick the ass of any opponent. At any rate, these two iconic female characters of the 1990s emphasized both the independence and the power of women.  Xena also had a very specific lesbian sub-text in her relationship to Gabrielle, who took a more stereotypical "feminine" role--and when you think of it, increasing the number of partners (male or female) is also a reflection of power.

Currently, like Madonna before her, Lady Gaga uses fashion and appearance as an ironic comment on society. This reflects the way by role-playing, the leather community, or others active in BDSM can result in a “reversal of power,” where a “bottom” appears in a powerless position to the view of an outsider, but because the behavior is consensual, on a meta-level, the “bottom” is “in charge.” Both Madonna and Lady Gaga are not afraid to play with a wide range of female (and male) imagery to express themselves, all the time give a very overt message of their own power. To put it another way, famous females of the 1960s were in some ways, the “products” of others (usually male), but both Madonna and Lady Gaga have made it part of their persona to be in charge of their own appearance and clothing. Having said that, if you think about Madonna, she physically altered her body from being a bit “hourglass” when she first began, to an extremely low body fat/lean/strong physique as she has grown older. Lady Gaga is similar in age to a young Audrey Hepburn or Françoise Hardy, and her body reflects this.

Why does a gay man feel a strong appeal in the women you've mentioned? Certainly there are different reasons for different individuals. But some therapists might suspect there are some gay men who have grown up with a fantasy of being taken care of by a strong man. The “script” of the movies lays out the idea if you dress correctly, if you're pretty, and not able to really take care of yourself, you'll attract a powerful male who will provide for you. This is not precisely an issue of gender identity—most of these men aren't really interested in “becoming” a woman—but in obtaining the benefits of such a role—just as many females have envied the benefits of being male in western culture. Katherine Hepburn, for example, set a standard early on in her personal life and career of wearing “men's clothing” (i.e., slacks/pants) at a time when women were socialized into wearing dresses. Historically, when women “cross-dressed,” they tended to gain power, while when males “cross-dressed” they did so for comic effect, and tended to lose power—this is seen over and over again in older films when male actors dressed in drag—for example, Some Like It Hot.  Many therapists also encounter men who are tired or frustrated with having to deal with the gender stereotypical obligations and pressures of being male in western society, and can fantasize with turning dominance over to someone else.  I can't begin to tell you how often one sees the CEO or president of a major corporation who leaves work to pay a dominatrix to humiliate him and order him around. For some gay men, it may feel like a vacation to "step into the high heels" of these female characters and step away from the pressures of being male.

On an aesthetic level, the female performers you've mentioned tend to have “large eyes” which is “hard-wired” into humans as attractive and child-like (which then engenders in adults a desire to care for them or help them). For example, if you look at photos of very young children, the size of their eyes in relationship to their faces is very different from the relationship of eyes in an adult face. You'll also see this in many puppies and kittens, which again, “reads” as attractive to humans. Make-up artists try very hard to make eyes of their clients look as large as possible with cosmetics. Being younger is also a part of a “power differential” where the young tend to have less power than mature adults, and adults are socialized to “take care” of young people. In research in evolutionary biology, there's the idea humans unconsciously pay attention to skin texture and tone as a sign of physical health and therefore, a better breeding partner. If you look at all the women you've mentioned, their skin appears flawless—which is one of the functions of good make-up—to cosmetically give the appearance of “healthy” skin. This is yet another part of their attraction.

As I have said a number of times to a friend of mine, “The fact the iris is my favorite flower, and I find it beautiful, doesn't mean I want to have sex with one.” Just so, for a gay man, there can be a sense of admiration for a female's beauty, but not an erotic response. For gay men who feel an arousal from a well-bellied man, fat admirers might find a professional male model impressive, but not erotic.

And finally—do I really see a “death” of the popularity of frail beauty we saw in say, Audrey Hepburn? I suspect we'll see (over the years) an ebb and flow of what people find attractive, and just as there have always been individuals who find a body with curves attractive, there will always be individuals drawn to slender frailness. As the American and European economy worsens, I'm not at all surprised to see more and more “curves” on both women and men. 

Actually, I have been curious about how many “teen heart throbs” have a level of feminine, delicate slenderness. The most recent example of this would be Justin Beiber. As these male actors/singers mature into adulthood, they frequently lose their original audience. Pre-teens (especially girls and I would include gay boys) aren't really clear on what sex is all about, and so focus on a non-sexual romantic “crush” that can be projected onto the “squeeky-clean” slender young male actors/singers. By the time a young woman (or man) is ready to fantasize about sex, or to actually experiment with sex, it usually is not going to be with a partner who appears to be a pre-adolescent. This is one of the reasons the “bad boy” feels more erotic to people who have moved past puberty. 

I hope you continue to enjoy your fascination with these very talented and very beautiful woman—think about it as enjoying an excellent glass of champagne. It won't serve as your full meal as a gay man—but it can bring you a great deal of pleasure.