Do you ever regret fattening up your partner?
Things like watching them feel discouraged as they struggle to fit into what was one of their favorite pairs of pants. Or when they come home from an awkward doctor's appointment and feel slightly ashamed after being reminded how big they really are? Do you ever feel that twinge of guilt and pitty that it is slightly your fault?
Things like watching them feel discouraged as they struggle to fit into what was one of their favorite pairs of pants. Or when they come home from an awkward doctor's appointment and feel slightly ashamed after being reminded how big they really are? Do you ever feel that twinge of guilt and pitty that it is slightly your fault?
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No.
I think this isn't a simple question, and deserves more than a simple answer. There's a spectrum of folks out there, and those of us who are really "focused" in the gaining community reflect a small portion of those who gain weight, maintain it, or admire the results. In other words, there are obviously people for whom personally gaining weight is an erotic/sensual experience. From some of the comments on this site, there are sometimes when these deliberate gainers have "second thoughts" or question what they are doing...but frequently realize the desire to gain "outweighs" the reasons to lose weight.
On a different level are those who gain weight where the eroticism and sensuality are not the "driving force." There are natural gluttons or hedonists for whom the weight gain is a "side effect" of their appetites and enjoyment. I'm sure for many of these, if they could "have their cake and
I think this isn't a simple question, and deserves more than a simple answer. There's a spectrum of folks out there, and those of us who are really "focused" in the gaining community reflect a small portion of those who gain weight, maintain it, or admire the results. In other words, there are obviously people for whom personally gaining weight is an erotic/sensual experience. From some of the comments on this site, there are sometimes when these deliberate gainers have "second thoughts" or question what they are doing...but frequently realize the desire to gain "outweighs" the reasons to lose weight.
On a different level are those who gain weight where the eroticism and sensuality are not the "driving force." There are natural gluttons or hedonists for whom the weight gain is a "side effect" of their appetites and enjoyment. I'm sure for many of these, if they could "have their cake and
eat it too, and not gain weight", they would be very happy. I suspect a lot of straight men "fit" into this category. They may sometimes regret not being thinner, but don't feel it's worth it to diet and exercise and deny themselves pleasure to the point of being smaller.
My SigO, for example, has gone from about 150 pounds to his current 220+ pounds. He's an even more complicated case, where his "thin" state was a direct result of drug abuse/addiction (meth). We have a history of almost 14 years of an “off and on again” relationship, the “off” directly related to his drug abuse. He had gone through an earlier major weight gain, where when he was hired for a "dream" job that required drug testing during his probation, he stopped using meth and packed on the pounds to hit 230 in a matter of months. I think this was a combo of his metabolism being screwed from the meth, and substituting food for the drug. When he was over his probation, he did what he called "the meth diet" and immediately dropped 60 pounds. We were not a couple during this time, so I wasn't involved in his gaining.
My SigO, for example, has gone from about 150 pounds to his current 220+ pounds. He's an even more complicated case, where his "thin" state was a direct result of drug abuse/addiction (meth). We have a history of almost 14 years of an “off and on again” relationship, the “off” directly related to his drug abuse. He had gone through an earlier major weight gain, where when he was hired for a "dream" job that required drug testing during his probation, he stopped using meth and packed on the pounds to hit 230 in a matter of months. I think this was a combo of his metabolism being screwed from the meth, and substituting food for the drug. When he was over his probation, he did what he called "the meth diet" and immediately dropped 60 pounds. We were not a couple during this time, so I wasn't involved in his gaining.
After being off meth (long story but so far--a happy ending) he talked about how when he looks at his driver's license photo at 150 (he's 6 feet) he sees himself as looking "sick." I certainly agree. He associates his larger body with being healthier. Me too.Then he "plays a game" I see a lot of folks play. "Oh, I need to lose 20 pounds! Don't buy any more cookies!" Then that evening..."Is there anything sweet to eat?" Yesterday he told me he wanted to lose 25 pounds over the next 2 months when he returns to Oregon to visit his best friend who was here last week. After dinner tonight, he not only went back for thirds, but about 90 minutes later started making his regular evening nutrella and honey sandwiches (well, to be honest--they are usually honey and peanut butter sandwiches--but naughty me--I picked up a jar of nutrella a couple of days ago) and I notice another 2 pumpkin and chocolate chip cookies are missing from the box.
Is he going to meet his goal of losing 25 pounds in two months at this rate? Do I hope he GAINS 25 more pounds in the next two months?
This comes back to how people tell you what they "ought" to do, as opposed to what they "do," or even "want" to do.
I should also add according to his physical exam about 6 weeks ago, he's very healthy--no problems with high blood pressure, or blood workup. I am just amazed at the fact someone who is pushing 40 and who has majorly abused drugs for the last 15 years AND has gone from a size 30 jeans to 38 in a little over a year-- is in such good shape. I suspect I would feel a lot differently if I were sneaking him cookies and he was severely diabetic...but he's not. Hah--maybe my careful feeding him lots of healthy foods contributes to his healthy and sexy looking body :) 
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