hi i just want to get this of me. i have gaind some weight so now my friends are starting to notice. and it dosent feel so good. but i want to get bigger and i like my body now when i have gaind more weight i feel really good about my body but now when i meet my friends i suck my belly in so i look smaller. should i continue gaining or stop.
seens im to shy to tell my friends that i want to get fat. so stop or gain. what do you think?
seens im to shy to tell my friends that i want to get fat. so stop or gain. what do you think?
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How about this as a practical suggestion?
From your original post, it sounds as if you see telling your friends you want to gain or like being fatter needs to be an attempt to convince them that you are "correct."
Perhaps you can move away from this idea? Obviously from your experience, what you are doing is "correct" for you.
Many people who care (i.e., family/friends)about someone who starts piling on pounds react from the commercial programming they have from television news and ads, which is basically "if you get fat, you will die." (Of course, if you eat only "healthy" things and maintain a 5% body fat...you eventually die as well. Very "fit" people also get hit by buses or fall off a mountain by rock climbing. Monitoring your weight or size doesn't promise you eternal life. It certainly promises you a deprived life.)
Most people on this site have spent in many cases, YEARS coming to terms with gaining and being large. I suspect your friends and family have never given that sort of attention and thought to the matter, so just have a "knee-jerk" (automatic) reaction when they see someone quickly gain, based on the media.
So--
Why not bring up the subject as a fact. In other words, it sounds as if you are fearfully waiting for others to bring up your weight gain and force you to defend yourself or to lose weight to please them. Instead, the next time you're around them, pat a body part (your choice) and say something like: "Oh my goodness, I've put on so much weight, I could barely fit into this. I really enjoy having the freedom to eat what I want and I'm having fun feeling large and in charge. I can hardly wait to have to buy a larger size!" Then laugh. You are being honest. You are letting them know your gaining is no secret and that you're not in denial, and that you're fine with growing even larger.
The only argument a friend can make at this point is to fall back into the "it's not healthy" claptrap. Smile and explain you've had a checkup and your health is great. If they do the "no guy will want to date you if you're fat" stupid comment, then again--don't fight them. Laugh in their face for saying something so ridiculous. Lift one eyebrow and say, "that's not my personal experience. There are a lot of guys out there who believe in 'more cushion for the pushin' and that well fed partners make the best lovers. You know, if you gained 20 pounds, maybe YOU'D have better luck dating..."
Remember—you’re not “fighting” or arguing with anyone…to do so gets into a debate, and you should not have to do that. It’s your body—your rules. If someone comments they find you less attractive with the new weight, again, don’t fight, but laugh in that person’s face and say, “then it’s a good thing I have no interest in dating YOU, isn’t it? Your other focus should be on how now being larger makes YOU feel better about yourself. The bottom line message—you are happy with yourself and where you are in life—and honey, I assure you, most of your friends wish they could say the same about themselves.
From your original post, it sounds as if you see telling your friends you want to gain or like being fatter needs to be an attempt to convince them that you are "correct."
Perhaps you can move away from this idea? Obviously from your experience, what you are doing is "correct" for you.
Many people who care (i.e., family/friends)about someone who starts piling on pounds react from the commercial programming they have from television news and ads, which is basically "if you get fat, you will die." (Of course, if you eat only "healthy" things and maintain a 5% body fat...you eventually die as well. Very "fit" people also get hit by buses or fall off a mountain by rock climbing. Monitoring your weight or size doesn't promise you eternal life. It certainly promises you a deprived life.)
Most people on this site have spent in many cases, YEARS coming to terms with gaining and being large. I suspect your friends and family have never given that sort of attention and thought to the matter, so just have a "knee-jerk" (automatic) reaction when they see someone quickly gain, based on the media.
So--
Why not bring up the subject as a fact. In other words, it sounds as if you are fearfully waiting for others to bring up your weight gain and force you to defend yourself or to lose weight to please them.
The only argument a friend can make at this point is to fall back into the "it's not healthy" claptrap. Smile and explain you've had a checkup and your health is great. If they do the "no guy will want to date you if you're fat" stupid comment, then again--don't fight them. Laugh in their face for saying something so ridiculous. Lift one eyebrow and say, "that's not my personal experience. There are a lot of guys out there who believe in 'more cushion for the pushin' and that well fed partners make the best lovers. You know, if you gained 20 pounds, maybe YOU'D have better luck dating..."
Remember—you’re not “fighting” or arguing with anyone…to do so gets into a debate, and you should not have to do that. It’s your body—your rules. If someone comments they find you less attractive with the new weight, again, don’t fight, but laugh in that person’s face and say, “then it’s a good thing I have no interest in dating YOU, isn’t it? Your other focus should be on how now being larger makes YOU feel better about yourself. The bottom line message—you are happy with yourself and where you are in life—and honey, I assure you, most of your friends wish they could say the same about themselves.
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well thank you so mutch everyone
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I am very proud of you
Now--go have a cookie! You've earned it :)
Now--go have a cookie! You've earned it :)
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