I Don't Know What To Do Anymore

It's just that sometimes I want to get so fat but I'm afraid to do it.  I would like some advice from anyone, please!

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Two of the questions I'll ask during the first session with a Patient/Client:

"What would happen if you DID do this?

"What would happen if you DIDN'T do this?"

In many casbes, these are very useful questions, because they help explore what are practical/reasonable concerns, and what is "head noise" where you begin to focus on what is non-sense.

For example, If you DID gain weight, "girls won't desire me." Conclusion: "There are girls that don't desire me now, at this size. There will always be someone who finds someone smaller than me more desirable, someone who finds someone bigger than me more desirable, someone who finds me as I am more desirable" (Sounds like Goldilocks!)

Or one of the ones that comes up a lot--"If I go ahead and do X, then what will happen is I will do XXXXXX!" I've had patients who trip out on: "Gosh, I've asked her out on a first date, but what if we got married and had 4 kids? I kinda like the idea of 4 kids. Maybe she doesn't want that many kids...oh, this isn't going to work out. I should call her and cancel our date...."

Or, perhaps one of yours: "Oh, gosh, I could go ahead and gain 10 pounds, like some people have suggested, but if I do, I'll end up gaining so much, I'm immobile." If you've been on this site for a bit, you'll find that the majority of people who choose as a goal being over 500 pounds on their way to being immobile--don't make it. And these are people who say they want to do it.

Some may have this as a fantasy, but the overwhelming majority of people go through various shapes and sizes over their lifetimes. They often settle on a particular size and weight for a number of reasons--what feels "good/right", what medical requirements exist/develop, and changes in lifestyle/employment (i.e., you join a softball team and really enjoy it, but the additional exercise causes some weight loss).

What are the chances of you becoming "very fat?" I don't know. I don't know how you personally define "very fat." Are you going to end up over 500 pounds and immobile because you gained those first 10 pounds? I'd say the chances are amazing against you getting that big. Even if you are in a relationship with a feeder.

And as for your family? You self-identify as Latino--in my rather extensive experience in the SW (your profile says you're in Texas)--I'm originally from New Mexico, and I currently live in Arizona)--I'm going to go out on a limb and say people in your extended family aren't going to shocked by you ended up heavier than you are now. In fact, (unless, like some members of the board report--you have parents who are Fitness fanatics who micromanage all food intake)you might be surprised

when you do gain weight, you discover family members tell you how much better you look and how they were scared you'd be skinny your whole life.

In some Latino communities, there's the expectation when you (male or female) get married, you gain weight. With some families this is a matter of pride, because it shows the wife is a talented cook and a successful wife, and it shows the husband is successful at putting food on the table (while these may seem a bit dated in terms of gender stereotypes to some readers...I only report what I have experienced).

If this is true in your extended family, there may be an attitude what you are skinny because you are single, but when you "settle down," in a relationship, you'll become an adult, and an adult is bigger than a kid.


I'd also suggest you try to take an objective look at your extended family. How many are them are as slender as you are now? What's the percentage of chubby people in your extended family? Is there a pattern where members of your family who are say, under 25 are all skinny, and those over 30 are all chubby? If so, what does that say to you as a 23 year old?

Do I think you should take 10 pounds for a test drive? Yeah, based on your comments and your deviantART stuff (which I enjoyed), I'd say you're getting to the point you're ready to take a chance.

Good luck Wish you the best whatever you decide.